Women in South Asia
The role of women in South Asian society can be briefly stated as being subordinate to men. While this is true in many societies, the particulars of this reality in South Asia’s history require some investigation, so that the roles of women there can be more readily ascertainable. The term subordinate indeed reflects the status of women in many societies, even today, but the exact position by women through history deserves a broader explanation. In Kamala Markandaya’s book, Nectar in a Sieve, she helps to elaborate the position of women in South Asia by giving a first hand perspective on daily living. Through interpretation of Markandaya’s work along with older historical documents, it is possible to piece together something of the life of South Asian women. Together, these sources provide the social, historical, and environmental contexts in which women lived, providing the reader an opportunity to better understand the inherent difficulty of life for South Asian women. This understanding must encompass recognition of both women’s social inferiority and predominant cultural expectations. Included in these two broad topics are many individual factors that, upon evaluation, help to explain why South Asian women were subordinate to men.
The key to understanding women’s subordination rests in religious precedent. In the classic Hindu manuscript The Laws of Manu, the compilers make clear that “a woman must never be independent.” With this precept standing as the keystone to Hindu society, women become permanently ensconced in a role of subordination. Women’s decisions are subject to men’s approval, as well as in their actions and deeds. This applies to women from childhood to old age. Manu establishes that women must submit either to a father, husband, or son at the appropriate stage of life. Specifically, this means to submit to a father in childhood, a husband in adulthood, and to a son in old age. With this in mind, it can be seen that women were not in control of their own destiny because whatever course the male authority chose would have to suffice as his word would indeed be the final decision.
As the central figure in Nectar in a Sieve, Rukmani knew her fate would always be tied to the decisions of men. Having been married without choice to her husband Nathan at an early age, Rukmani began living the daily struggles of life in poverty and subordination. Her husband was a good man, not at all a tyrant, but Rukmani was not free to do as she pleased, for such was not the privilege of a Hindu woman, wealth notwithstanding. Social expectation to adhere to male superiority precluded any contrary thought. Indeed, Rukmani often subjects her thoughts to the approval of social expectation, as she wonders what others will think of her actions. By thus censoring any thoughts or actions outside the range deemed acceptable by society, Rukmani actually reinforces her position as subordinate within society.
Even aside from the social difficulties women faced in South Asia, if those can be set aside, life was generally hard. The daily process of hard work for meager returns was quite taxing on the individual. Emotionally, adjusting to the various stages of life had to be difficult for women. The prospect of early marriage certainly was a daunting event, as seen by Rukmani’s in her 12th year. After being taken from her parents’ home and wedded to someone whom she did not know, Rukmani essentially and abruptly began her life anew. She no longer had the safety of her childhood to protect her from the outside world; instead of having the comfort of a family she knew, she lived in a village far from her own with a new husband. With a new life ahead, Rukmani settles into the role of a devoted wife, learning to love her husband and adjusting to her new life. Rukmani later sums up the difficulties she faced in preparing for her lifelong endeavor, when she prepares to release her daughter Ira into the grasp of the larger world outside her small mud hut. Rukmani acknowledges how “bruised [Ira] must be by the imminent parting,” and that her “spirit ached with pity for her.” Rukmani knew exactly how Ira felt because she had felt these same feelings of isolation and despair when she had been first married. Such was the life of women in Rukmani’s India, difficult both emotionally and physically.
The institution of marriage is an evident reflection of cultural expectations wresting upon South Asian women. The primary dharma of women was to produce children, especially sons, who were more highly valued. Since daughters would eventually have to be married off and a dowry paid, they were less valued than were sons, being more of a financial burden to the family than a boon. Society also made the matter of having daughters problematic, in an economic sense, as a man could hope to own land, while anything a woman earned “is acquired for him to whom [she] belonged.” If women were to be treated legally as property, having to give their earnings to their husband or father, it was clear that having sons would be preferable so that the family would not have to sustain another child, one who would eventually be removed from the family’s finances by marriage and thus not contributing any support to the family income. Since it was a chief duty of women to produce children, women who apparently could not propagate were seen to be without worth and could be divorced. This is exactly what happens to Rukmani’s daughter, as she is shamefully returned to her parents’ home, having been unable to produce a child. Although The Laws of Manu calls for a period of eight years before divorce, Ira’s husband returns her to Rukmani and Nathan after only a year in his haste to produce children. Under the impression that it is her fault, Ira becomes depressed and crushed by her situation. This example underscores the importance of social expectation; Ira is perceived as a burden to her family if she cannot be married, and she cannot be married if she is reputed to be barren. Her apparent inability to live up to social demands leaves Ira in a bleak situation, which later on forces her into a less acceptable profession so that she can survive. For now, though, it remains evident that the social pressures of marriage and the consequences of divorce are strong forces in the lives of women.
The importance of producing children is such that South Asian women were afraid of being divorced, even as Ira had been. The verification of this fact can be seen in an earlier occasion when Rukmani approached the local doctor, Kennington. She became acquainted with him early in her life, as he cared for Rukmani’s dying mother. Later, after she had been unable to produce a child after a period of six years, Rukmani sought Kenny’s assistance. This effort was an attempt to stave off the possibility of divorce by Nathan, because if Rukmani could not produce a son, eventually Nathan would be forced to divorce her. The important point of Rukmani’s seeking assistance from Kenny was in her approach to the matter. By keeping it secret from her husband, Rukmani was implicitly acknowledging some problem in her ability to produce children. This meant she was unable to perform her dharma, rendering her useless and divorceable. Since women had little recourse without husbands, as they could not own land or provide for their own sustenance, being divorced would be a hard fate. Generally, when divorced, women were returned to their parents’ home, as Ira had been, so to possibly prevent a devastating divorce, Rukmani secretly received treatment from Kenny. When she later produces healthy sons, the threat of divorce ends, as she proves her worth to the expectant society around her.
With these daunting realities, life was difficult for women like Rukmani in South Asia. Her story, as told in Nectar in a Sieve, is not meant to be a representative of every woman in her contemporary India, but rather an insight into the perspective of women of her class, the peasantry. Rukmani understood she would never be wealthy, and came to accept that her marriage to Nathan would probably never produce the level of abundance she had known as a child in her father’s home. Suffering through flood, drought, and poverty, Rukmani’s family endures a hard life. Although the sons had some semblance of hope for improving their lot in the future, for Rukmani or Ira prospects were inherently dimmer for no other reason than being women. While the story of all might be said to be one of hardship, it is particularly more acute for the women since they had no expectation that they could hope for better. Rukmani’s sons eventually leave the land in search of a better life, higher wages, and higher hopes. For the women, though, this is not to be. Instead, there is to be only the duty of being a wife for Rukmani, and misery for the rejected Ira. Rukmani’s story, then, cuts to the essence of women’s position in South Asian society. Like men, women struggled to survive, working hard to make ends meet, except that they were not free in their courses of action. Instead, they were generally subordinated to the will of men.